If I asked you what makes a good mother what would you reply?
We all have our own individual thoughts about what it means to be a good mum.
But where do these beliefs come from? The beliefs I have could be the complete opposite to yours, but again no judgement they are just my thoughts not facts.
What I want to ask you is this, are those beliefs YOURS?
Are they conscious considerations that YOU have made, about YOU and YOUR hopes and dreams about YOUR experience of motherhood? Or have you unconsciously collected them along the way, perhaps from parents, other family members, in-laws, friendships (we all wanted to be Miss Honey right?), films, tv programmes, books you have read or other role models in your life.
I would like you to PAUSE amongst all of the chaos, the hurry, the background noise and ask yourself;
HOW DO I WANT TO SHOW UP AS A MOTHER? What is actually important for ME?
I want you to challenge the beliefs you currently carry and ask yourself do I want to hold on to this one or is it time to let it go?
Here's the thing ……………………………………….. YOU are in control YOU get to choose! This is YOUR experience of motherhood and only YOU can decide what is right for YOU and YOUR family.
Do you want / need to work full time part time or not at all?
Do you want to breast or bottle feed or both?
Do you want to attend every local baby group/ class or could you not think of anything worse? Do you want to follow a routine or go with the flow?
Then ever so slowly, start to give yourself permission to make daily changes to move closer towards the experience of motherhood that is truly YOURS! What feels right for you?
Do you need to cancel those plans to keep your baby in a strict routine? Or are you afraid of what other people would think of you as a mother if they weren’t in bed by seven? Do you have a hobby or passion that you have sacrificed or given up and replaced it with rainbows, swimming and gymnastics everynight of the week?
To me being a good mother means consciously living by YOUR values and beliefs of what kind of mother YOU want to be. The trouble is how often do we stop and think about what WE truly want? The greatest gift we can give to our children is to live alongside them not to live ‘through them’.
As the saying goes ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup.’ If we are happy and fulfilled in our lives then it will seep out and positively impact our ability to be a good mother. Ultimately you are not doing this for your benefit, but for the benefit of your whole family. It will improve how you show up as a mother, a partner, a relative, a colleague and a friend.
So what are you waiting for there’s never going to be a better time than now, because growing up won't wait.
Sending you all of the love, permission and kindness to do this Aimee xox