Before I attended the first timers’ course, I can't begin to describe how scared I was about giving birth the thought of actually birthing a full human terrified me and all I could think about was negative words like pain or scared.
During my pregnancy I was diagnosed with having gestational diabetes and the hospital told me that they wanted to induce me at 38 weeks, which I declined (Aimee had taught me that's ok to decide what happens to your own body.) At 39 weeks I accepted an induction but unfortunately it failed, so we decided to opt for a planned caesarean. Once we had made the decision together and my caesarean was booked, I felt really excited and like a huge weight had been lifted.
On the morning of my birth I was put in some very ugly theatre stockings, I met the whole team who would be in the room with me, and they went through some forms, safety precautions and told us what to expect. I was worried about what if something goes wrong in theatre and about the recovery time and if I would be able to carry my baby. The surgeon was amazing and talked me through the process answered all of my questions and really put my mind at ease.
My first impression of the theatre was that it was huge! I thought it'd look like something from an American film and be small and clinical and scary, but it was spacious and full of smiley faces.
The surgical team made me feel so relaxed. We were talking and laughing and joking and they even put up with me playing acoustic versions of heavy metal songs (I had a playlist ready on my phone).
I had the spinal injection which I was nervous about. They used an ultrasound to try to locate the correct spot on me as I have scoliosis, so my spine isn't straight, so it was abit more complicated. There was a slight miss which felt tingly, but it didn't really hurt as they'd already numbed the area.
Once the injection went in everything felt warm and then they swivelled me around onto the bed. It was a weird feeling because you can see people moving you but can't feel a thing. They put the curtain up and then we just talked and listened to music.
I held my wooden birthing comb in my hand and my husband was sat by my side playing DJ, chatting to me, and making me laugh. One of the surgical team also became my "buddy" so she held my hand and talked me through what was happening and when, infect the whole team supported me though, they were absolutely amazing and so lovely to me.
All of a sudden, we heard her cry, and they dropped the curtain, and this tiny human was there, and we made her and it was so overwhelming but incredible.
I felt excited, happy, shocked, nervous, and completely in love. I couldn't believe she was real, the whole way through my pregnancy I kept expecting someone to say they made a mistake, I don't know why, I just did.
Ava was born at 11.40am and we had skin to skin in theatre which It felt surreal but just felt right and I couldn't stop staring at her.
The first timers’ course had hugely helped us to feel prepared for this moment by the time we had finished the classes my worries and fears had had mostly gone and I was more excited. Before completing the course, I didn't know that I had a choice about my birth, that I could say no to things that I didn’t want, the course helped me find my voice and say what I wanted and when.
I still use the aromatherapy oil that Aimee gave us when I'm stressed or just need help sleeping and the playlist that we had during the birth sends my little girl to sleep now.
Doing the first timers’ course together helped my husband to understand a little how I it was also good for him to know how the other dad's to be feeling (the same way!) The classes gave him the opportunity to ask questions and learn things about after the birth without feeling silly for asking.
The recovery from my birth was a good experience, I healed relatively quickly with no real issues. It did feel weird and tight to begin with and I was worried I may pop my stitches, so I was cautious for the first 2 weeks'. After that I started trying to do as much as possible but stopping and resting if I felt sore.
Overall, it was a really nice experience; if I had my time again, I would have booked my caesarean in sooner - it was the best experience and I'd highly recommend it! I'd have a planned caesarean again if I have a second child.
My Top Tips for birth any beyond:
Don't let anyone tell you that you should be doing something or can't do something, you know your own body so do what feels comfortable to you.
I'm overweight with an apron belly so I asked for a PICO dressing which helps to keep the area dry and clean, and it made my healing much easier, and you can barely see my scar 6 months on.
Lying flat was a nightmare for a few weeks so I propped myself up to a semi seated position for sleeping using pillows for a few weeks.
During pregnancy I wish I’d have taken photos and videos of me being pregnant, booked a maternity photoshoot & had a baby shower.
During my early weeks of parenting: I wish I’d not put pressure on myself in terms of breastfeeding, stocked up on bottles of water to stay hydrated, and made my snack boxes earlier.
Don't put any expectations on your experience. At the end of it you will have a happy, healthy baby and everything in between is just filler so try to enjoy the journey because the destination is amazing.
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